


Poems

by error_untitled



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 02:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/error_untitled/pseuds/error_untitled
Summary: Just some poems I wrote myself.





	1. 11:52 AM

They told me it'd get easier  
But you're only with me more  
I just can't escape the memories  
I'm so tired because of you.

They told me I'd be fine  
Because I'm just a teenager  
So it wasn't real love or real pain  
But if that's the case  
Why're you still in my vision?

They told me it'd be okay  
I'm just overreacting  
But I still feel the bruises you left  
I still hear the things you said  
I still can't  
Breathe  
Or feel.

It's not okay.  
It never was.


	2. 11:54 AM

Motivation is a rare thing  
"It's just laziness"  
Sleep is a rare thing  
"You're always on your phone"  
Food is a rare thing  
"You study too much"  
I'm always eager to get things done  
"Stop, you're working too fast"  
I sleep too much  
"Stop being so lazy"  
I eat too much food  
"Stop, you're too fat"  
I'm either too much  
Or not enough   
Decide   
what's best for me  
Or decide   
To take a walk through my mind  
But please  
Don't hurt me  
Like everyone else  
Because you judged me.


	3. 12:02 PM

temporary

everything is so temporary

It's just been so long

since I've had the motivation to try

I've been holding on

to everything

so temporary

that I can't 

even 

love

you

and I can't

even 

feel


	4. 12:09 PM

the anxiety creeps up

like an alarm

it jolts me awake

when the depression just says to sleep

I keep trying to tell people I can't sleep

but no one knows what's really going on

Why should I try?

It's all so pointless

Explaining is so pointless

But when I try to find the words

to say

I'm not okay

"You're just being a teenager"


	5. 11:42 AM

I smile at you  
Pretending it's alright  
But in reality  
Nothing is fine  
The terror washes over me  
But I do nothing  
but smile at you.

I laugh with you  
pretending I feel alive  
But in reality  
I'm numb inside  
It's not even sadness in me  
But still all I do  
Is laugh with you.

I can't keep pretending   
That I'm not exhausted   
And I can't keep pretending   
That they're not here  
Because I still feel the physical pain  
But they've made me numb   
I'm sorry.


	6. 11:51 AM

No amount of sleep  
can cure   
the tiredness I feel inside  
Because I'm just so exhausted   
To the point where it's not physical  
It's mental  
It's emotional   
And it's all because of you.


	7. 11:56 AM

They told me no one would believe me  
They told me no one would care  
They told me it wasn't true  
But really, it wasn't fair.

I kept my mouth shut  
But they couldn't see  
The person who was really hurt   
It wasn't her, it was me.


	8. 12:11 PM

I can't trust you  
You can't trust me  
Isn't this great?   
I thought you were happy  
I thought you loved me


	9. 8:35 PM

I sit

letting the water run over me

until I see the water turn red like a year ago

until my hips hurt like a year ago

until my bruises are visible like a year ago

 

I cry

letting the memories resurface

because they'll never go away

and if I see you again it'll just get worse

and I'll always be reminded of the pain

I saw you again the other day

and I couldn't breathe

no one knew what was wrong

so they acted like I didn't exist

and I still feel alone

 

It feels like the world lost its colour

It feels like I can't trust anyone

It feels like my body is not my own

and I felt so numb once but now it's only pain again

and I wish i didn't feel at fault

 

When I tried to tell people what happened

it was always my fault

or i lied because i regretted that night

so after that

you were just a reoccurring nightmare

you were just a flashback

you were just a memory

 

i still feel the bruises you left, even if they're not real anymore


End file.
